by Athirah Sofea
Being a good communicator is about how well you listen, which can enhance your personal and professional relationships. Listening is the cornerstone of effective communication, understanding, and building strong relationships.
However, this powerful skill is often overlooked. Like any skill, it can be learned and refined. To become a great listener, it’s essential to understand two crucial aspects:
- Listening with intent
- Listening for meaning
Listening with Intent
Listening with intent means being fully present and engaged in the conversation. It involves not just hearing the words but also paying attention to the speaker’s tone, non-verbal cues, and overall demeanour. Here’s how to cultivate this aspect of listening:
- Remove external distractions
Find a quiet space and turn off electronic devices to ensure that you are not interrupted.
- Be open-minded and non-judgmental
Allow the speaker to express their thoughts freely without interruption or evaluation. This openness fosters trust and encourages honest communication.
- Seek clarification
Summarise the speaker’s main points to demonstrate your understanding and provide opportunities for clarification. Genuine validation shows that you are truly engaged.
- Show non-verbal affirmations
Nod, smile, and lean forward – small but significant actions that signal you are actively listening.
- Express empathy
Use phrases like “I hear you,” “I understand,” and “Go on” to encourage the speaker to share more. This shows that you value their perspective and emotions.
- Hold space
Before responding, study the room. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is remain quiet and give the speaker time to think and express themselves fully.
Listening for Meaning
Listening for meaning goes beyond the surface level of the words being spoken. It involves understanding the underlying emotions, intentions, and context to grasp the full significance of the speaker’s message. Here’s how to develop this aspect of listening:
- Pay attention to non-verbal cues
These can include shifts in energy, emotions, mood, body language, or tone of voice. Non-verbal cues provide valuable insight into the speaker’s feelings and attitudes. For instance, noticing a change in tone and asking, “I sense disappointment in your voice. What’s happening there?” can open deeper layers of communication.
- Discern what isn’t being said
Listen for the speaker’s underlying motivations, desires, or concerns. Consider their background, experiences, and context to understand how these factors may influence their message. This deeper understanding can reveal unspoken issues or needs.
Thoughtful responses show you understand the message and respect the speaker’s perspective. A good listener explores the speaker’s situation, while a great listener explores the speaker as a person. This deeper level of listening enhances communication, strengthens relationships, and fosters a supportive environment.
Developing the skills of listening with intent and for meaning can transform workplace interactions. Whether in meetings, one-on-one conversations, or group discussions, these skills are invaluable for building trust, understanding, and meaningful connections.
