by Caryl Teh
Back in 2020, there was a stark increase in the number of people struggling with loneliness when COVID confined us to our homes. Now that we’re past the whole stay-at-home stint and can finally meet friends and family in person again, loneliness is no longer a problem, right? Well, no. It was a problem even before the pandemic, and still is today.
Each person has their own trigger or reason for feeling lonely, but the tools to manage that feeling aren’t as person-specific. So here are 3 tools that could help you face and overcome your loneliness according to Cady Macon, an intuitive guide with Centered, an online library of mental health exercises for anxiety, burnout, and depression.
1. Show someone else you care
When you’re feeling lonely, it’s common to forget” about all the people who are in your life. In Macon’s “Room Full of Strangers” exercise, she asks you to remember all of the people it takes to make your life run. “Life’s a team sport, even when you walk alone,” Macon said.
This tool incorporates a lot of proven therapeutic methodologies, from gratitude to loving-kindness (which incorporates sending well wishes to others). The loving-kindness method has been shown to increase social connectedness in those grappling with loneliness in Stanford University studies.
2. Gratitude
As we all know, not seeing the people we love can really exacerbate loneliness. With this tool, Macon reminds us that there’s usually a lot of love in our lives already. Enter “The Power Board,” or as Macon puts it, “a vision board on steroids.”
“A Power Board is a big fat list of things that make you feel awesome. These can be quotes from friends, compliments from strangers, or bits of acknowledgement from coworkers,” Macon explained. “It’s anything that’s warm and fuzzy that makes you feel seen, heard and or recognized.”
The Power Board is great for cultivating gratitude. When we remind ourselves on a regular basis of what we do have, we’re less likely to fall into the hole of feeling completely alone.
3. Imagination (or sense of humour)
Macon’s last (and most light-hearted) tool is designed to address the question we might dread the most: “What if I don’t actually have as much love in my life as I’d like?”
It’s a daunting question with a surprising answer. “It’s quite simple,” Macon said of your next steps. “You’re going to do the normal Power Board stuff, but you’re just going to make it up.”
Though it might feel silly, Macon’s suggestion to make up love notes, customer testimonials, and any other “reminders of love we wish existed” is no joke. She’s riffing on the idea of “visualizing Best Possible Selves,” which academic research has shown can be beneficial for raising and maintaining a positive mood moving forward.
Just like happiness, anger, embarassment or sadness, loneliness is an emotion – it comes and goes. No tool can help you get rid of any emotion altogether. The best we can do is show ourselves some grace – be aware of what we are feeling, and learn how to live through that emotion so we can emerge a stronger person than before. We hope the 3 tools we shared today will help you achieve that. Remember, you’re not alone in your loneliness struggle, and it is possible to get through this season. You’ll be alright!
Source:
Lattice
Centered
